I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
