so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
