I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
