The best revenge is premature balding
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
