somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
