I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
