And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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