she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
