I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize