we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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