Your face is a jimmy john
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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