Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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