plz talk dirty to me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
