I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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