well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
