remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
