And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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