just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
