It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Randomize
