she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
