i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
