i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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