You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
