I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
