I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
