wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
