So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
