Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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