He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
