Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
