i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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