I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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