Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize