And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
