pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
