Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We need to get me chipped asap
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
