it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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