Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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