oh god the rape fog is back!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
