I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
