I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You pole danced in your parka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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