I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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