Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
