i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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