Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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