At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
