i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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