We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
