I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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