They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someone shattered a urinal.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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