The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
