Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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