end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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