I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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