he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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