...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
