I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
