Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
