She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
