standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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