yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
