from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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