i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
