You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
