You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize