I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
