I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize