I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
