After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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