i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
