Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
nutella sex= disaster
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
