3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need water and some morals
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
